The Ultimate Boy Scout Tool
So, you find yourself in the wilderness, without a knife. And you are starving, parched, and do not have a shelter to escape from the blistering hot sun. What do you do? Do you look for water? Do you hunt for an unsuspecting little bunny? Or do you try to find shelter? A cave or a tree? These are probably the questions that are whirring through your brain, while you are trying to figure out an answer to your problem. But, if you don't figure it out soon you will probably die.
But the solution is so easy! It is so simple. What is it? You might ask. Well. We like to call it the: Ultimate Boyscout Tool!!! How does it work?
Well, it is in the form of a flashlight... What is a flashlight going to help you with? There is already plenty of light thanks to the sun. Are you going to hit the bunny over the head with the flashlight?!
Ha! I laugh at your unbelief! I began with “It is in the form of a flashlight...” I didn't say that lighting things up was it's only feature. As a matter of fact. There is a button on the bottom of the flashlight that turns the flashlight into a lethal Light Saber. Yes! A real light saber! And then, on the side near the top of the flashlight is a food button. All you do is hold that button while thinking of the specific food you want, and then point it at the place you want it. Then. ZAP! You have whatever food you want.
Well, that takes care of two of your problems, what are you going to do if you are thirsty? And what about a shelter?
Wow. You are such a doubter! There is a button on the side of the flashlight that is lower to the ground and on the food button side. And once you press this button, it will immediately tell you where the nearest water hole is. And then, on the other side of the light flasher, is yet another button. And this button, once pushed, releases a seven man tent!
So. What do you have to say now! This is revolutionary. It will turn the whole world upside down. Hanging upside down outside a window being held up by Wesley.... Well, maybe not that dramatic. Yet, it will change the world's perspective about camping. This is the ultimate backpacking trip! Yes, it can be yours for just under $10000000000000000000000000000
Luke Scout-Walker
Hi. My name is Luke Scout-Walker, but you can call me Stud Muffin. Or, just Stud. Never Muffin. That is just demeaning.
Oh! You want to know what I am doing hiding in these Trash-cans? Well... This is a secret mission, but I suppose I can tell you. But first, I should give you a little history about myself., before I let you know why I am in these trash-cans outside the Girl Scout hut.
******************************
First things first. I am involved in Boyscouts. I guess you can say that I do all the dirty work for them. Not as in evil work. Merely.... Ridding the land of our rivals. Boyscouts was the original program for Scouting for kids like me.
Though I am not a kid anymore. I turned 18 yesterday, and just made Eagle in time. And, I also entered a secret society called the Order of the Arrow. And, to make the Brotherhood, I need to complete two Missions. I am on my first mission.
Anyway, back to the History lesson. A few years after Boyscouts were formed, the Girlscouts were formed. Well, you can just imagine the indignation on Lord Baden Powell's face when he heard this. I mean, they basically copied the Boyscouts, from our law to our campsites. Well, he wasn't to happy about that, so he declared war forever more on the wimpy Girlscouts. He declared in his call for Boyscouts everywhere to commence hostilities, “We will not buy their cookies, and will hinder the selling of them...” And so, our rivalry was born.
Then many decades later, another form of Scouting took place. It is called Venturing. They stole many a good Boyscout because it was Co-ed... Once we realized that they were banding together with the Girl-Scouts. We immediately knew and acknowledged that we would be overpowered. So, finally we made the Scouting organization, the Cubscouts. It was for younger boys, until we had trained them up in the Laws of the pack so that they would be prepared for Boyscouts.
Then as years went on. Boyscouts, Girlscouts and Venturing started to forget the enmity of old, and the Boys stared to forget the war that had been carried on for over a century. Many Senior scouts saw the danger of complacency, so the banded together and started the Brotherhood. They also invented the Ultimate Boyscout Tool. As you can only carry so much when you are hunting a Venturer or a Girly Scouter. This Brotherhood was called the Order of the Arrow. These were boys that were picked to represent their Troops in their Brotherhood. Upon entering the Order, you take an oath swearing that you would wage war, as long as you had breath on your lips, to defend the principles of Boyscouts and attack the infidel that tried to destroy BSA Troops.
******************************
So, that is why you find me in the Trash-cans outside the Girl Scout hut. This is my mission, to take out one of the girls who have been penetrating into the BSA library, trying to steal information on The Ultimate Tool. My job, is not to kill but to Capture and bring your back to the Order of the Arrow's headquarters. (OAH) So, now I must leave. I need to go and defend the bright honor of the Boy Scout!
So, you find yourself in the wilderness, without a knife. And you are starving, parched, and do not have a shelter to escape from the blistering hot sun. What do you do? Do you look for water? Do you hunt for an unsuspecting little bunny? Or do you try to find shelter? A cave or a tree? These are probably the questions that are whirring through your brain, while you are trying to figure out an answer to your problem. But, if you don't figure it out soon you will probably die.
But the solution is so easy! It is so simple. What is it? You might ask. Well. We like to call it the: Ultimate Boyscout Tool!!! How does it work?
Well, it is in the form of a flashlight... What is a flashlight going to help you with? There is already plenty of light thanks to the sun. Are you going to hit the bunny over the head with the flashlight?!
Ha! I laugh at your unbelief! I began with “It is in the form of a flashlight...” I didn't say that lighting things up was it's only feature. As a matter of fact. There is a button on the bottom of the flashlight that turns the flashlight into a lethal Light Saber. Yes! A real light saber! And then, on the side near the top of the flashlight is a food button. All you do is hold that button while thinking of the specific food you want, and then point it at the place you want it. Then. ZAP! You have whatever food you want.
Well, that takes care of two of your problems, what are you going to do if you are thirsty? And what about a shelter?
Wow. You are such a doubter! There is a button on the side of the flashlight that is lower to the ground and on the food button side. And once you press this button, it will immediately tell you where the nearest water hole is. And then, on the other side of the light flasher, is yet another button. And this button, once pushed, releases a seven man tent!
So. What do you have to say now! This is revolutionary. It will turn the whole world upside down. Hanging upside down outside a window being held up by Wesley.... Well, maybe not that dramatic. Yet, it will change the world's perspective about camping. This is the ultimate backpacking trip! Yes, it can be yours for just under $10000000000000000000000000000
Luke Scout-Walker
Hi. My name is Luke Scout-Walker, but you can call me Stud Muffin. Or, just Stud. Never Muffin. That is just demeaning.
Oh! You want to know what I am doing hiding in these Trash-cans? Well... This is a secret mission, but I suppose I can tell you. But first, I should give you a little history about myself., before I let you know why I am in these trash-cans outside the Girl Scout hut.
******************************
First things first. I am involved in Boyscouts. I guess you can say that I do all the dirty work for them. Not as in evil work. Merely.... Ridding the land of our rivals. Boyscouts was the original program for Scouting for kids like me.
Though I am not a kid anymore. I turned 18 yesterday, and just made Eagle in time. And, I also entered a secret society called the Order of the Arrow. And, to make the Brotherhood, I need to complete two Missions. I am on my first mission.
Anyway, back to the History lesson. A few years after Boyscouts were formed, the Girlscouts were formed. Well, you can just imagine the indignation on Lord Baden Powell's face when he heard this. I mean, they basically copied the Boyscouts, from our law to our campsites. Well, he wasn't to happy about that, so he declared war forever more on the wimpy Girlscouts. He declared in his call for Boyscouts everywhere to commence hostilities, “We will not buy their cookies, and will hinder the selling of them...” And so, our rivalry was born.
Then many decades later, another form of Scouting took place. It is called Venturing. They stole many a good Boyscout because it was Co-ed... Once we realized that they were banding together with the Girl-Scouts. We immediately knew and acknowledged that we would be overpowered. So, finally we made the Scouting organization, the Cubscouts. It was for younger boys, until we had trained them up in the Laws of the pack so that they would be prepared for Boyscouts.
Then as years went on. Boyscouts, Girlscouts and Venturing started to forget the enmity of old, and the Boys stared to forget the war that had been carried on for over a century. Many Senior scouts saw the danger of complacency, so the banded together and started the Brotherhood. They also invented the Ultimate Boyscout Tool. As you can only carry so much when you are hunting a Venturer or a Girly Scouter. This Brotherhood was called the Order of the Arrow. These were boys that were picked to represent their Troops in their Brotherhood. Upon entering the Order, you take an oath swearing that you would wage war, as long as you had breath on your lips, to defend the principles of Boyscouts and attack the infidel that tried to destroy BSA Troops.
******************************
So, that is why you find me in the Trash-cans outside the Girl Scout hut. This is my mission, to take out one of the girls who have been penetrating into the BSA library, trying to steal information on The Ultimate Tool. My job, is not to kill but to Capture and bring your back to the Order of the Arrow's headquarters. (OAH) So, now I must leave. I need to go and defend the bright honor of the Boy Scout!
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