The Cowardice of Sarcasm

Sarcasm is a big part of who I am.

I was raised in a sarcastic family. 

It is just part of the culture I grew up in.

And I really appreciate that, because we live in a very sarcastic world, which is full of very sarcastic beings.  So, it was a training of sorts to be able to hold my own in playful banters and also know when someone else is being sarcastic.  It definitely serves its purpose.

But, there is always a flip-side.

I've noticed that I have a tendency to use sarcasm as a crutch, instead of a tool to lighten conversation and the mood.  There is a very calloused way to use sarcasm, and I think I've used it for that intent too many times.  It is pretty easy to just fall behind sarcasm and use it as a shield.  There are days that I may not have gotten much sleep the night before, or I'm stressed out, or maybe just emotionally drained, and my fall back is sarcasm.  Why do I do it?   Because it is safe.  It is easy to just whip it out and throw it at any interaction, and think that everything is good.  And since I do use it in a very playful tone most times, it is easy to disguise my actual meaning with sarcasm.

Which it is actually just cowardice.

If I'm not willing to say what I mean, then I shouldn't make it difficult for people to catch my drift.  That is how miscommunication happens.  Sure, it is easy, but it isn't right.  Obviously, this is all still a work in progress, because I am still pretty sarcastic, but the first step toward fixing a problem is identifying it, right?